How to Reconnect with Your Partner When You Feel Apart
15.04.2020
What if you feel disconnect with your partner, and you are increasingly thinking about divorce? Passionate love and idyll passed into mutual reproaches and scandals. In the 21st century, 80% of all marriages break up. And this figure is increasing every year. Why is this happening? A husband or wife who decides to divorce has high hopes for a new successful relationship. Men start dating women online, and women also look for their new love. But in most cases, the story tends to repeat itself. The fact is that the main reason for this disconnect is a lack of understanding of how to save a family.
Most couples believe that breaking a strong relationship is impossible. And if you can’t save love, then this is not the right person. But this is not so. Any relationship needs to be worked on. And the reasons for the divorce appear in absolutely all couples. How to change everything? How to reconnect with your spouse?
Is It Possible Not to Lose Connection in Long-Term Relationships?
You've found a wonderful woman to marry. The first months of life together are the happiest for any couple. People spend time together with pleasure and don’t get tired to please each other with pleasant surprises. Over time, household problems become more and more noticeable. There are minor disagreements. Small bad habits of the partner, which were cute before the wedding, begin to irritate after the marriage. It’s impossible to never quarrel at all, to constantly live in absolute agreement with your loved one, but you just need to be able to quarrel correctly to save a relationship.
How to reconnect with someone? If you are thinking about how to improve relationships with your wife, most likely, the situation is already unfavorable. If your beloved has already cooled down to you, then urgently look for the answer to the question of how to improve relations with your spouse. Fighting for feelings is definitely worth it. But what if the beloved spouse is increasingly dissatisfied and makes scandals from scratch? The main thing is not to panic and not to enter into open conflicts.
Find Out the Reason of Disconnection with Your Spouse
You likely think that your loved one doesn’t care about you or that she is no longer happy with you in marriage. You might even think that the relationship is breaking apart. But maybe you just need to find out what your spouse needs?
1. There is no romance in your relationship
When you met, you tried your best. You gave flowers, made surprises, took her to the movies and tried to show yourself from the best side. When you realized that she fell in love with you, you relaxed and became yourself. When relationships become monotonous and tiring, it all turns into a real tragedy for girls. So, try to reconnect your relationship with the help of romance.
2. You want to change each other
The desire to change your loved one is exactly what destroys relationships. It doesn’t fit into the concept of love at all because love implies that we like each other the way we are. How to reconnect with your wife in this case? Don’t concentrate on the shortcomings of your soulmate and start changing yourself for the better. Your partner will definitely appreciate this, which will certainly lead to changes in her character.
3. You lie
As Dr. House said, “Everyone lies.” However, this genius of cynicism forgot to mention that it precisely destroys relationships. Lie to your loved one in the morning, day and night, and then you will certainly break up. Lying is not dangerous in itself, but it leads to distrust. And distrust is the beginning of the end of your love.
4. Cruelty in any of its manifestations
We mean both moral and physical cruelty. So, how to reconnect with your partner? If you really think about how to solve problems in a relationship, then ask yourself whether you are not cruel to your soulmate. Maybe you do a lot of things to your loved one in spite? Or are you deliberately trying to annoy her, making her cry?
5. You have a pessimistic mood
Imagine that you presented a gift to your soulmate and get in response a barely noticeable smile and lack of emotions in her eyes. Would you like it? Probably not. When you are a pessimist, a woman thinks that the problem lies in her. Trying to rectify the situation in every possible way, she concludes that all her attempts are ineffectual, and this leads to disappointment and quarrels.
How to Reconnect with Your Wife According to Different Life Situations
Relationships always require special attention, analysis. Try to find the reasons for dissatisfaction with each other, don’t guess but directly ask your wife what she doesn’t like. Without knowing the root of the problem, it will be difficult to find ways to reconnect with spouse.
1. Respect the differences
When you and your wife just met, everyone had their ideas, stories, opinions, and interests. However, it seems that some of your differences have changed over time and formed similar likes, dislikes, and attitudes. And although we sometimes forget about it, relationships require deep respect for the differences between us. So, how to reconnect with spouse? Always respect differences of opinion with your wife.
2. Discuss problems correctly
If the wife wants to share her feelings, be sympathetic, properly discussing what worries her. Ask questions and never project her problems onto yourself. It will be much more difficult to help her get rid of protective carapace if you are inattentive and fixated on your person. So, as you can understand, discussion plays a big role in marriage.
3. Strengthen the emotional connection
Experience together, not only joy but also grief. Even if your beloved wife has problems, you know that you will find a quicker solution to them together. Even if you suddenly quarrel, find strength in yourself and take the initiative not to wait until you are offered to make peace. Men most often have to take the initiative in their hands to reconnect with the wife.
4. Be able to forgive
Few spouses can truly forgive each other for all sorts of mistakes. If you want to reconnect emotionally with your partner and you love this woman, then strive to renew your mood, invigorate your relationship, and forget about all insults. Speak to each other everything that hurts, and then forgive each other. And remember, if you have forgiven, never remember this in the heat of quarrels.
5. Support
A frequent reason for divorce is the indifferent attitude of a husband to the psychological state of his wife. It makes her feel empty. So, reconnecting with spouse, always maintain a warm spiritual communication and share a good mood. Remember that heart-to-heart talks give her energy and strength. Motivate her for family affairs and caring.
6. Make her your best friend
Many modern families suffer from a lack of communication. Try to remember the last time you truly spoke with your wife. Many couples communicate exclusively with a standard set of phrases after several years of marriage. These are petty errands and requests to each other. However, when your relationship began, you probably saw in your partner a pleasant interlocutor and an interesting person.
7. Learn to look take care of your wife
Remember the very beginning of your romantic relationship with your spouse. Surely, you wanted to be a hero in her eyes, surprise her every day and carry her in your arms in the literal sense of the word. So, why not try to at least partially return that magical time? Having lived all these years together, you definitely know all the preferences of the spouse. You no longer have to guess what may surprise her.
Basic Advice for Maintaining Connection in Relationships
You need to think seriously before marriage what needs to be done to maintain a relationship. For a marriage to be happy and last a long time, you need to consider the following things.
1. Mutual respect
It should be in every family. Spouses should be respected. After all, if you don’t respect your own choice, then this means that you also don’t respect yourself. Or did someone else choose your wife for you? If disrespect reigns in the family, then nothing good should be expected from the relationship.
2. Fidelity
Some couples believe that cheating doesn’t always worsen relationships in a marriage. Yes, some people can cheat on each other, and their relationship doesn’t change at the same time, and sometimes they become even better. But you should discuss this issue with your spouse before marriage. You need to understand that perfect people don’t exist.
3. The belief that no one is obligated to do anything for you
Yes, in reality, it is so. Nobody owes you anything, and you don’t owe anyone. If you have such a belief that a woman is obliged to do something for you or that she has no moral right to refuse you, then this is not so. If you want something, you can simply gently ask your loved one. If your soulmate can’t or doesn’t want to help you for some reason, don’t get mad because of it.
4. Don’t skimp on the manifestations of feelings
Gentle touches, tender hugs, fleeting kisses, and even more so verbal expressions of feelings – all these things are good for a marriage. If it disconnects, just generously give your wife warmth and affection. Also, the intimate life of the spouses is of great importance: no need to refuse sex because of grievances. After all, sex, as you know, brings the couple together, but its absence disconnects them. So, this is how to reconnect with your spouse sexually.
5. Lack of criticism
Criticism shouldn’t be present in relationships. It only destroys them. With the help of criticism, people show that they are smarter than their partners. Psychologists have proven that if you criticize a woman, reproach her, then she will never get better from this. Therefore, if you want to connect with your spouse, don’t think that criticism is capable of changing a loved one for the better.
Man who devote too little time and attention to their wives will never succeed. If she has cooled off to you, there are probably problems in your attitude to her. The words “I love you” mean a lot to every woman. Make it a habit to pronounce this phrase regularly. Learn to understand your soulmate. And remember that from the moment you started a family, you are not just lovers but partners in all areas of life.
