Female Sexual Fantasies and What They Tell about Emotional Needs


Evaluating the "normality" of your sexual fantasies, you cannot find a balance. At this moment, you worry that you want to try something extraordinary, but in the next moment, you are overwhelmed with doubts because it is so exciting. If this sounds familiar, there is good news for you. A new study has shown that even pervert sexual fantasies are not as bizarre as one can think.

female sexual fantasies

Top facts about sexual fantasies

A bit of backstory. In a study that has been published in one of the American journals, they have tried to figure out what exactly is extraordinary and strange when it comes to women's sexual fantasies in particular. To do that, they have conducted two parts of the study with 1516 respondents. The participants have evaluated about 56 different female sexual fantasies and described their favorite with all the details.

Consequently, the results of this experiment have been used by many people to self-assess their sexual fantasies. The researchers have drawn some general conclusions.

Exceptional fantasies are rare. The bigger part of the girl's sexual fantasies is quite general in nature, including group or lesbian sex. So, the fantasy that a woman is worried about is most likely not an isolated case, and she is not the only one who dreams about it.

Most male and female fantasies have much in common. It is necessary to share your thoughts with your partner because there is the likelihood that your sex fantasies are the same, and there is no need to hide them. What are sexual fantasies? These are just secret desires of sexual content that help you be turned on.

Women have less sexual fantasies. Female sexual fantasies are more romantic and similar. Men have almost all possible sexual fantasies, and they are able to describe their fantasies better with more details and without any embarrassment.

Many women fantasize about domination. 64.6 percent of women want to be a sexual dominant, 52.1 percent want to be bound, 36.3 percent of women want to be spanked or beaten, and 28.9 percent dream about forced sex. However, at the same time, these are not just female fantasies, 39.7 percent of men also want to be spanked or beaten. Usually, women who have fantasies about being spanked, etc. also have opposite desires, for example, they also want to tie their partners, i.e. be dominant. So, you can say goodbye to the statement that a woman wants to play either a dominant or submissive role in bed.

Girls prefer to separate facts from fantasies. In the conducted research, hundreds of women showed an interest in sexual fantasies, and a big part of them indicated that they, in fact, do not want to put them into practice. This difference between sexual fantasies and sexual desires is a more common thing for women than for men. It looks like women prefer just to dream about some things.

Heterosexual people have same-sex fantasies. It’s not a secret that heterosexual girls like to watch lesbian porn, and about half of them have fantasies about having sex with several girls or watching two girls having sex. However, only 20 percent of women consider themselves either bisexual or homosexual.

top sexual fantasiesWhat are the most common female fantasies?

Sooner or later, every woman gets a list of sexual fantasies. Such thoughts help her relax, get excited, and get in the right space. However, most women are not enthusiastic about sex. They need something exciting, passionate, something extraordinary. They expect that men will offer it, and they don’t get used to talking about it openly. Women do not know how to raise the topic, and whether it's decent for girls to talk about it because cute girls and dirty sex are supposedly incompatible. However, you will be surprised how many common sexual fantasies you have. The next time when you lie in bed, and she will suffer from a headache, ask her whether she wants to try something new. Here are several women's top sexual fantasies that she wants to try, but she is embarrassed to tell you about that.

Threesome. Many girls think about it, and this way of diversifying sexual life seems to be very interesting. It's true that a threesome does not have to be just male fantasy. For some girls, this idea is also intriguing. If you are frightened that another man can have sex with your woman in your presence, calm down. She might also like the option with another girl. It is important to note that, first, you should be sure that a threesome will not be dangerous for your relationship. Therefore, discuss everything carefully, setting mutual borders, pre-stipulating what can and cannot be done. This is one of the most popular sexual fantasies.

Striptease. It’s not a secret that many guys like when their girlfriends dance erotically in front of them. Some couples even install a pole in the bedroom, so much they like it. Have you ever thought that women like it also? Many women dream about male striptease. You can please her with such a performance. Choose one of her favorite songs and just do it! You can rehearse a little before the mirror when you are alone. She will be very touched by your diligence and appreciate it.

Role-playing games. If you took acting classes in the childhood, then now you have a chance to make your own performance. Role-playing games certainly are on her list because it is one of the top sexual fantasies. Think of scenarios that you both like, buy sexy costumes and submit to fantasy. At first, you may feel a bit silly, but after a few “rehearsals” you will like it. Some of your characters, for example, a German housekeeper or a Latin gardener, can become regular guests of your bedroom.

A light version of BDSM. Women like to dream about a naked man’s body, handcuffs, and a whip. Sometimes, it can be a little painful, so before you use hot wax and clothespins on nipples, think of a code word, for example, “zebra” or “red,” so she will know when to stop. You will help realize one of the weirdest women sexual fantasies, feel happy and be sure of the strength of your relationship. Plus, you will see her in a sexy leather outfit.

Sex with a stranger. This fantasy will not be told to a partner. Women will leave it for themselves. Sex with a stranger is a great excitement and risk, it is like a forbidden fruit. Some women are looking for such feelings in the nightclubs, fitness clubs or just cafes, there are plenty of options in the women's sexual fantasy.

Lesbian sex. It’s hard to find a man who will be against such fantasies of his girlfriend. Almost every woman thinks about it at least once, and if there is a chance, a bigger half of them will try. It’s not about passion or obsession, it’s about curiosity. A woman wants to be a man for a moment.

Voyeur. Do you know a sense of fear when you can be caught at any moment? It gives additional adrenaline and makes your feelings brighter. Every girl wants to watch someone who is having sex or become a woman who is being watched.

Sexual fantasies and emotional needs: what's the connection?

Women are very emotional creatures who live in their own world, who perceive many things differently and who aim to fill some gaps in all possible ways. When something is not the way they want, they start fantasizing about unrestrained happiness, strong hands, and gentle lips, about the nights, after which they feel refreshed, and a blissful smile does not come off the face. Every woman has her own fantasy that is unique and usual at the same time. Anyway, all common female sexual fantasies help satisfy the same emotional needs.

Take the edge off. It does not matter whether the chief has shouted at her, or she has forgotten her bag in a bus or damaged a new dress. Several weird sexual fantasies are enough to cheer up and be full of energy for new achievements.

dark sexual fantasiesHelp themselves go free. Women have a lot of different thoughts, and they always try to control them as well as words and actions, so they do not allow themselves to manifest in full. Therefore, they do not realize their true desires and possibilities in many aspects of life. Strange sexual fantasies help them show their nature and forget about social rules at least for a while.

Allow to know themselves better. When women really relax, uninvited guests make their way into female dark sexual fantasies and dreams. Women can fantasize about a fighter, an ancient Egyptian slave or a prisoner who has escaped from the plantations.

Whatever they dream about in their fantasies, this will be the key to what they lack in real life. It is not about a wild party with seven gorgeous African American men, but more about warmth and caresses, which their imagination replaces with physical intimacy.

They don't look for the pain, imagining BDSM or sexual assault, but they have a strong desire to punish themselves for something consciously or subconsciously. They need to understand why they want to punish themselves in order to forgive. Women are too romantic to be satisfied just with boring usual sex.

Italian sexologists have interviewed 177 women who were from 16 to 27 years old. The biggest part of their sexual fantasies has a romantic component in one way or another. Romance, love and tenderness act on girls more exciting than just sexual acts. Besides, the development of rich and substantial female sexual fantasies largely depends on their sexual maturity, level of education and previous intimate relationships with men.

Four main functions of sexual female fantasies.

According to the American sexologists, sexual fantasies have 4 main functions.

  1. The first one assumes that fantasies are a means that helps a woman get to know the surrounding world, reflect on it and memorize important intimate events and properties.
  2. The second function is based on the fact that the sexual fantasy serves as a specific psychological stimulant that helps maintain excitement and not let it weaken during periods of pauses in intimate life.
  3. Thirdly, the imagination expands the boundaries of sexual pleasure, enriches the "repertoire" of intimate behavior and complements it with something new.
  4. The fourth function is based on the fact that with the help of sexual fantasies a woman can break stereotypes of intimate behavior in real life that interfere with her relationships with men.

Sexual fantasies are a special kind of psychotherapy. So, sexual fantasies of all types act as psychological safeties that provide a discharge of internal tension. Fantasies are a great tool for realizing the world, for understanding reality and for emotional adjustment. This is a natural exercise of their creative and aesthetic abilities. In their fantasies, women tend to live and feel more fully, and they are more concentrated than in real life. It is just a special place of self-restoration of their spiritual forces. Women perceive everything a little bit differently, including sex, and men just need to accept this fact.