When to Get Engaged With Your Girlfriend: A Full Guide

26.06.2020

Getting engaged is one of the most important steps in the life of loving couples, which most people perceive as a logical continuation of their romantic relationship. Betrothal is not only another opportunity to receive a ring as a gift; there is a bit more to it. This is a way to say, "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you." But how long should you wait to get engaged? What questions to ask before getting engaged? And how to identify you are ready for the betrothal with a loved one? Let’s hunt down these and other conversational questions about engagement!

What is the average age to get engaged?

In more recent times, sociologists emphasize the growing popularity of such a form of relationships as cohabitation. According to experts, the attitude of men and women towards engagement and marriage has changed a lot in these latter days, and the modern model of romantic relations provides for a kind of partnership. This means that loving couples of different age categories are in no hurry to get engaged and contract marriage just for the birth of a child or shared budget but are guided by the need to have real support and a trustworthy person nearby.

Thus, most of the modern couples in love decide to live together for a while to check how reliable their relationship can be and get engaged only when they are convinced that they feel comfortable with each other. Of course, such a change in the attitude towards marriage affected the average age to get engaged. Consequently, the number of mature couples who decide to tie the knot is growing.

So when do most people get engaged? According to the Census Bureau, the average age for getting engaged in the United States is currently almost 29 years for men and about 26 years for women. In European countries, the situation is slightly different. In Western Europe, the average age of men and women for engagement is 30 years, while in Eastern Europe – 25 years. The average engagement age for Asian men is 26 years, and for women – 24 years.

How long before getting engaged with your girlfriend?

It is important to understand that marriage is not a self-fulfilling prophecy. Marriage is a form of relationship between a man and a woman, a logical and natural continuation of an established romantic relationship. In fact, marriage is the transition from the status of a couple to the status of husband and wife. Initially, men engage in single women dating, fall in love with an attractive lady, get to know each other, date, and go through the so-called rose and candy stage. Then, a couple has sex, accordingly, becoming closer; after that, they usually introduce a partner to their immediate circle, becoming a couple in the eyes of those around them. At this time, loving couples can simply date or decide to start living together – it all depends on the situation and the moral principles of the pair of sweethearts. At this period of relations, their status is just a couple in love. Usually, no one exchange rings in betrothal at this time. But later, after dating each other for some time, people decide that they are ready to cast the lot and start a family.

How long to wait before getting engaged? Psychologists declare that the optimal time to get someone’s measure and come to know a loved one better is about two years of relationships. However, this is a very controversial point. In reality, there is no unambiguous answer if you are wondering how soon is too soon to get engaged. After all, opinions differ. That is, for one loving couple, it can be enough to date just a year to realize that they are ready to get betrothed, while for others, it may take an extended period to decide on engagement. So, it is only up to you to tell how long you should wait to get engaged with a person you love.

Am I ready to get engaged: Quiz

A large number of men experience the same problem – they cannot identify whether they are ready for engagement or it is worth waiting a while. There is a fun quiz to help you sort out your feelings. Answer each of the following questions to ask before you get engaged (yes or no) and calculate how many points you scored. After the quiz, you will find out whether you are ready to get engaged.

1. Do you want to get engaged just to reanimate your relationship?

There is no doubt your betrothal will be fabulous. But among the gifts, there will not be a magic wand that will turn unhealthy and fluid relations into qualitatively new ones. Such a misconception is one of the dangerous red flags in relationships and the main reason for the sharp decrease in satisfaction with couplehood in the early days of the engagement. So, if you decide to get engaged just because it seems to you that betrothal can reanimate your fading love, you will face only disappointment and frustration.

Yes – 0 points

No – 1 point

2. Do you conflict a lot?

Before the engagement, you should watch how the conflicts and quarrels usually proceed in your relationship with a loved one: do you like to quarrel heartily or prefer solving problems amicably? In 2016, American psychologists conducted a study called “The Adaptation Process in Close Relationships” and found out that any event between two loving people tends to recur in the future. And engagement and marriage do not change anything. So, if you are dissatisfied with the frequent quarrels with a partner, it is better to think twice whether you really want to get engaged with this person.

Yes – 0 points

No – 1 point

3. Do you know your partner well?

One of the problems that undermine even the strongest relationship after the engagement is the sudden appearance of new unexpected facts about a partner. Therefore, you should take an interest in the main life priorities and your loved one's values in advance. How does your partner feel about money? How does your loved one imagine the upbringing of your future children? Where do they want to live? Having clarified these details before engagement, it is possible to eliminate the causes of many conflicts in relationships.

Yes – 1 point

No – 0 points

4. Are there any annoying traits in your partner?

Sometimes, the very traits of a partner that were extremely attractive to you at the beginning of a relationship become obnoxious after the engagement. At the initial stage of relations, the partner’s specialties often fascinate and delight you. “He is so enthusiastic!” “She is so pretty and stylish!” “He is so companionable!” But later, these traits can start to cause hostility and lead to a decrease in the level of happiness in a couple. So, think in advance how your partner’s hobbies can affect your life together in the long run. This is an important step in identifying the potentially annoying traits of a loved one.

Yes – 0 points

No – 1 point

5. Have you tried to live together?

A man and a woman often live together for some time before the engagement – this is a normal phenomenon for modern society. After all, living under the same roof helps you to learn more about the strengths and weaknesses of each other and understand whether both of you are ready to overcome life difficulties together.

Yes – 1 point

No – 0 points

6. Do close people approve of your choice?

Friends and relatives know you better than someone else, and if they say that you and your loved one are a wonderful couple and you have to go down the aisle, great. But if there is a shade of doubt about your chosen one in their voice, then you need to slow down a little and analyze their worries.

Yes – 1 point

No – 0 points

7. Do you feel like a superman when being with a partner?

Whether it is related to making a shopping list or assembling a new piece of furniture, you feel like you and your loved one are a team. It seems to you that if your duet had the opportunity to take over the world, you could easily do it!

Yes – 1 point

No – 0 points

8. Are you ready to work on relationships?

A lot of people wrongly assume that true love does not need any additional efforts from the partners, but in fact, it is not so. And happy couples will confirm this! You will certainly have to look for compromises, work on relationships, and adapt to each other throughout your whole life together. Therefore, it is better to make sure in advance that you and your loved one have no illusions about your relationship.

Yes – 1 point

No – 0 points

9. Are you financially stable?

Yes, Yes! You need to think about money before the engagement with someone you like. After all, financial matters are one of the most common causes of divorces. Of course, there is no need to become a millionaire like Bill Gates, but you and your chosen one should have steady sources of income before deciding on the engagement.

Yes – 1 point

No – 0 points

10. Do you test each other’s loyalty?

“Why didn’t you call me back within seven minutes?” “What if I take your fingerprints to open your phone?” “Did you chat with that hottie who comments on all your Instagram posts?” Arranging loyalty tests for your loved one, you show that you actually experience a deep uncertainty in your relationship. Although it is worth thinking about engagement and marriage only if you fully trust each other.

Yes – 0 points

No – 1 point

The results

0 – 4 points: Ouch! You are definitely not ready to get engaged with your loved one. Moreover, such a poor result may also signify some relationship difficulties and problems you should fix to create healthy romantic relations.

5 – 7 points: Well, well, this is already a pretty good result! However, you should still pull back the reins until your relationship becomes stronger and gets to a new level of intimacy.

8 – 10 points: Congratulations! Such a top result indicates that your relationship is strong and happy, and so, you are ready to get engaged with a chosen one!

How to get engaged: ideas for guys

So, you met a woman with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life. How to propose her to become yours forever? Everything is much simpler than you may think. Consider these five helpful tips on how to get engaged, and it will be all plain sailing!

1. Be sure that your loved one will say yes

Of course, it is impossible to predict with close to 100% accuracy that everything is going to be okay, but you should firmly feel that a girlfriend loves you and really wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Try to think about whether your special someone has ever hinted somehow that she wants to get engaged and create a family with you. If she has never mentioned such a thing, you can try to discuss this issue with her. But if the girl feels somehow awkward during the conversation and changes the subject, this is a sure sign she is not ready for the engagement.

2. Ask her parents

Nowadays, it looks old-fashioned to ask the father of the future bride for permission to engage her, but such an act can be very useful and regarded as a gesture of your respect for the girl's family. It shows her parents that you will always be attentive to them. Since this is a sign of courtesy, her family is unlikely to be staunchly opposed to your engagement. However, it all depends on the particular girl and on the situation in her family. So, you should test the waters before talking with the parents of your loved one.

3. Decide on a suitable time

It is impossible to say for sure when it is the best time for a proposal, you should just choose the moment when you will not be in a hurry, staying calm and relaxed. The moment when you planned everything in detail will be perfect. Is there a special day for both of you? Like the anniversary of a relationship or the day of the first kiss? It will be even more romantic and pleasant for a girl if you propose her on that day!

4. Choose the best place

You will remember the place and atmosphere of the engagement until the end of your life. The point here is to remember that you are the main creator of this atmosphere! You can propose in absolutely any place, but at the same time, it must be significant for both of you, and you should feel comfortable and natural there. To give it the best shot, you should consider what your girlfriend’s favorite places are. Perhaps she likes sandy beaches, luxury penthouses, beautiful sunsets, exceptional cityscapes, or unexplored wilderness. Think about it carefully and choose a spot your beloved girlfriend will surely like!

5. Think over how you will propose

When you decide where and when the engagement will happen, it remains to consider some of the innermost moments of how to do this. You can use the traditional way and present a girl with a ring on bended knee. However, you will probably want to add something special to the proposal so that it will be remembered by your girlfriend forever. In this case, you can order a quartet, launch fireworks, or simply turn on her favorite romantic song as background music.

Final Thoughts

Now you know the answer to the main questions, when should you get engaged, and how to identify that you are ready for such an important step? If you gained the maximum points in the quiz, feel free to get betrothed to a girl you love, as there are good chances to get so cherished yes. Take into account the above-mentioned tips on how to get engaged, think through every detail, and give it your best shot to make the engagement unforgettable! Let your couplehood be really cheerful, happy, and trouble-free!