When to Settle Down: How to Know It's Time

09.01.2019

Do you know why some people like to use an old whistling kettle that makes a noise in the whole apartment when the water boils? They adore it for its unambiguity: when the water is ready, it reports this with unmistakable clarity. It would be great if people had such a whistle, wouldn’t it? In the early stages of a relationship, all mutual signals are quite readable. However, everything becomes much more complicated with time. In several months or years, you can’t say for sure if your partner's feelings have warmed up enough to be ready to settle down and live happily ever after. The balance of probability is that your partner has lost interest in you, and both of you are used to living together and that’s all.

Often, when a person has got through a negative experience with a partner, they have persistent negative associations with a committed relationship, and their first impulse is not to go deep into the complexity of the family life. It is much easier to blame other people or relationships between the sexes in general than to think about the root cause of the problem. Such a person becomes a confirmed bachelor who is not ready to settle down.

What does it mean to settle down?

Every person faces a moment in life when it is necessary to start a family, buy an apartment, build a career, etc. Obviously, not everyone is eager to forget about the days when they were able to hang out until morning and go to the other side of the country with a partner. It is very difficult to give up freedom, and many modern people prefer to stay single for the rest of their days. However, most people understand one day that it’s time to settle down or, in other words, to become more calm, reasonable, “take root,” starting a family and having kids. When a man is ready to settle down, he is not afraid to take responsibilities for other people, he is not going to leave having faced challenges.

What age do men want to settle down?

Not every man understands when to settle down. Between the ages of twenty and thirty, a man tries to form an opinion about himself and his abilities. He makes mistakes and finds out their prices. However, when a man is twenty-seven or twenty-eight years old, he wants more serious achievements, for example, to have a cool car, a great job, and enough money. All these things become important for him, but marriage does not appear on the list of desired accomplishments since it does not relate to career growth and financial independence.

Usually, a thirty-year-old man doesn’t look for a job but strengthens it, trying to reach the desired level of wealth and achieve at least some of the goals outlined in his maximum program. Chaotic lifestyle and the pursuit of pleasures go into the category of the "past.” Men are also more comfortable with the fact that soon, they will stop looking for one-night stands. In fact, they have already understood that they should look for a woman who will not turn life together into a drama but, on the contrary, will try to make it fun and easy. Such a woman will support in a difficult moment and will be faithful to her partner. When a man meets the right girl, he wants to take responsibility for her and their joint children or, in other words, to settle down. If you ask yourself, “Is he ready to settle down?”, pay attention to the following signs, they might clarify the situation.

9 signs your partner is ready to settle down.

One way or another, some people are dependent on the opinion of relatives, friends, and even acquaintances. Sometimes, a person can feel that they are ready to settle down but single friends start dissuading from this step. On the one hand, they are not ready to do the same because, for example, they haven’t met their soul mates yet, and on the other hand, they aren’t mature to take such a decision, and they don’t want to lose “the life and soul of the party” who is always ready to hang out. Nonetheless, time changes and a person can subconsciously show, “I'm ready to settle down” with the deeds. Just take a closer look at their behavior.

1. You are the first person who finds out about their problems.

Emergencies are not a joke. If you are the first person who finds out about your partner’s injury, accident, dismissal, death of relatives, you should appreciate their demonstrated trust and give all possible support to your partner. After all, otherwise, they would perceive you as a burden, which they had to avoid until they coped with everything on their own.

2. They know your parents.

If your man tries to avoid meeting your family in every possible way, then it’s one of the signs he's not ready to settle down. It means that your beloved person has some doubts about your mutual future. However, if your partner knows your parents and can communicate with them even in your absence, then they have serious intentions.

3. Your partner wants to get a pet.

Getting a pet is a light version of having a baby. Many couples go through several stages before having a kid, and one of them is taking care of a pet, especially if it is a cat or a dog who needs much more attention and care.

4. They start talking about purchasing of shared housing.

It can be even a minor comment that they want a garage for a car in your shared house, this means that they are already thinking about this possibility. Yes, this is not a single-step decision, but your partner definitely thinks about the long-term relationship. It's as if they're saying, “I want to settle down.”

5. They share confidential information with you.

If you know how much money they have in the account, their password on the phone or even on the laptop, then you surely have a committed relationship. It is not acceptable to ask such questions in any relationship. However, if your partner shares confidential information with you, then you have won their trust, and you can be a reason for their settling down.

6. Almost all their friends are already married.

Very often, the impulse pushing people towards marriage depends on external factors and the phases of life. It is extremely difficult to cope with the situation when you are ready to settle down, but your loved one is still far from this decision. If you are not sure, take a closer look at their surroundings. As a rule, the life phases between the close friends coincide.

7. Your partner tries to spend free time with you.

When are men ready to settle down? A man is ready to settle down when he is satisfied with a partner and doesn’t try to look for someone better. If you are the only person whom he wants to see in most cases, that says a lot.

8. Their long-term plans are about you.

Are you planning your joint vacation next summer? Does your partner ask you whether you want to go to their friend's wedding in six months? If the answer is yes, then your partner tries to create your joint future step by step. This is one of the main signs that your partner knows well how to settle down.

9. Your partner wants to introduce their parents to yours.

Meeting each other's parents for the first time is always awkward, and it is one of the most embarrassing situations for both of you. No one wants to find themselves in the midst of shameful children's stories and irrelevant questions about relationships if they are not going to build a committed relationship. And when are you ready to settle down? When you want to share all the above-mentioned points, and you are not afraid to have any commitments.

Ready to settle down quotes.

Sometimes, one quote can tell you more than a whole book, showing other sides of the issue and suggesting a possible way out. Follow your heart, it knows what you really need.

1. “When you realize that you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

2. “I don't want to be tied down. I don't want to settle down. I don't want to love you.”

3. “If a woman came up to me and directly asked about my intentions, she would immediately know that I was not looking for anything serious.”

4. “I mean, how many times have you met a man who said, “When I earn enough, I will think about obligations” or “When I get this promotion, I’ll immediately settle down”? This guy is still trying to find personal fulfillment, and while he is moving in this direction, he is not going to be distracted by the relationship with you. He tells that he simply does not have time for that, the relationship is not a goal for him. Therefore, his behavior will be so shifty.”

5. “Men talk about their feelings, even if you refuse to listen to or do not believe their confessions. “I’m not ready for a serious relationship” means “I’m not ready for a serious relationship with you” or “I’m not sure that you are the woman I need” that’s all.”

6. “It is not so important where one settles down. The best thing is to follow your instincts without too much reflection.”

7. “Most people give up finding their soul mate and settle down to just have a flesh mate.”

Am I ready to settle down: a quiz.

First, read the questions and try to answer without thinking. The more honest responses you give, the more correct level of your readiness you will see.

1. Can you call yourself a happy person?

Happiness is an inner state. You need to find what makes you happy and do that. When you are happy, you radiate this feeling and attract the right relationship.

2. Do you feel confident?

People tend to attract others with a similar degree of self-esteem. If you want to attract someone with high self-esteem to settle down, you need to develop this quality in yourself.

3. Can you offer something to your potential partner?

You need to determine what you like best about yourself. “Your” person will see your advantages and vice versa.

4. Are you afraid that you will not find your soul mate and stay single forever?

This is a very common fear, but it’s not about people who avoid settling down. When you love yourself and understand what you want in a partner, you increase the chances of attracting such a person.

5. Are you afraid to make a mistake in a new relationship?

Of course, your partner might be a wrong person, but you never know until you try.

6. Do you believe that you can meet someone better?

You might have heard the phrase, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” If a person is ready to settle down with the partner, then, as you understand, they are not looking for someone else.

7. Are you afraid of losing your freedom?

A healthy relationship is the work of two people. You cannot lose your freedom if you don’t give it away voluntarily. If you have high self-esteem, you will not allow yourself to settle for anything less. Anyway, your degree of dependence is only up to you.

8. Are you afraid that you will have to compromise?

People who are ready to settle down negotiate and voice what is important to them. All relationships involve some degree of compromise. Therefore, do not be afraid of compromises if you do not have to sacrifice your principles and values.