Long Distance Relationship Survival Guide
20.02.2018
While half a century ago most of the people coupled with their locals, nowadays with the online dating and the Internet per se, the term long distance relationship seems to be a little bit old-fashioned. The number of people who have found their partners abroad is growing every day. There are also a lot of couples where one of the partners is working abroad, albeit being absent from home for half a year. Thus there are a lot of forms of long distance relationships. Although this kind of relationship may no longer be new to the world, it doesn't mean that those involved in them manage to avoid problems. It's human nature to make something simple complicated. Needless to say that we find ways to suffer in the relationship that is complicated from the very beginning. So, let's have a closer look at problems that may occur in a long distance relationship, and figure out the best ways of avoiding them.
Long Distance Relationship Problems and Why They Occur
Some would say that a long distance relationship is worse than a breakup, and it's not that hard to understand why. While a breakup means the end of your romance, a long distance relationship leaves you with a lot of uncertainties. You start wondering whether you would be able to take it. Of course, you are getting more suspicious about whether your partner is faithful to you when he or she is miles away. So, let's have a more detailed look at those problems with long distance relationships.
1. Communication Problems
One of the main problems with long distance relationships is communication. From the time zone differences that make it difficult for you to pick the right time for your chatting to the fact that you are not always able to see the expression on your partner's face, which may help you figure out how honest he or she is with you. Even when you have video chats, you know that it is way easier to lie when you are miles away. Moreover, one partner may prefer talking over texting, while another may prefer texting over talking.
Another issue with communication in long distance relationship is the dependence on technology. The Internet may not work properly and your conversation is interrupted. And what if you'll get overly suspicious? When you suffer from jealousy it is easier for you to suspect that your partner is having some sugar on the side whenever he or she tells you that they can't talk or chat because of the problems with the network.
2. Romantic Problems
The most common long distance relationship problem is the possibility of growing apart. You slowly getting used to the fact that your partner is away, and you get irritated whenever he or she is coming back. If this feeling is mutual, you may end up thinking about why on earth you need to keep this relationship going. Even the mere idea of growing apart may subconsciously force you into looking for other prospects. Other problems include lack of physical interaction and, as a result, support, as you know that a hug is sometimes better than a thousand words. As a result, most of the problems are blown out of proportion. You get crazy and offended when your partner doesn't answer your calls or your messages, or forgets to tell you that he or she loves you.
3. Psychological Problems
When you are in a long distance relationship, you get a growing feeling of loneliness. It is one thing to be lonely without a partner, but being lonely when you are in a relationship with someone seems quite ridiculous. That strange kind of loneliness may cause depression and anxiety. Another problem, which is mainly caused by friends who speak their minds, is uncertainty. Especially, when you have toxic friends. Sooner or later, they are going to tell you that long distance relationship never works. Or that your partner is most likely cheating on you. See, if it's not your paranoia, it's your friends who can ruin your long distance relationship. And you end up with the complete feeling of insecurity, asking yourself who you should trust and reading articles on long distance relationship problems and their solutions.
Long Distance Relationship Communication: How to Get the Best of It
Enough with discussing long distance relationship problems, as reading about them may already cause depression. Now, let's talk about the possible solutions. As you can see, the main problem is the communication, so let's find out how to improve communication in a long distance relationship.
1. Avoid Excessive Communication
Wait, what? Yep, it seems strange when the first advice on improving your long distance relationship communication is communicate less, but read further and you will see that it makes sense. It's like the golden rule of horror films – more is less – that works vice versa. You don't need to talk 24 hours a day to improve your communication. Actually, texting and talking for long hours every day would most likely make you sick of each other. Besides, you don't have a lot of new stuff to tell each other when you are talking every day. The less you talk the more precious your communication is. If you talk less, you have a lot of things to tell each other and you get more interested in your conversation. When you talk every day you easily get bored with each other. You may also get the feeling that your partner is trying to control you. Needless to say that your partner may get the same feeling.
2. Don't Keep a Strict Schedule
Long distance relationship communication is often scheduled. Let's say, you have a video chat every day at 5pm... and that's where it starts to get boring. You and your partner need to be a bright spot for each other. You have a working schedule, and when you are chatting every day at five pm, you interaction becomes nothing more than part of that schedule. Chat whenever you want, minding when it is comfortable for both of you, but don't turn it into a routine. Routine kills standard relationships, needless to say that long distance relationships are at a higher risk.
3. Keep It Regular and Creative
Avoiding excessive communication doesn't mean that you shouldn't say “good morning” to your partner every day. Moreover, you can make your communication more creative. Send your partner funny videos from your everyday life. Have online video dates. You are not together on St. Valentine's Day? You can send each other gifts, and nothing prevents you from buying a bottle of wine and having a romantic dinner with candles on different sides of Atlantic. See, how Internet can help you improve communication in a long distance relationship?
Saving a Long Distance Relationship on the Verge of a Breakup
It is extremely easy to find yourself on the verge of a breakup when you are in a long distance relationship. The constant feeling of loneliness and insecurity allows the smallest fight to become a reason for a breakup. Everything seems more serious. Your arguments are more serious and compromises are way more difficult to make. In the end you start asking yourself whether your long distance relationship is worth your efforts. So, let's find out how to save a long distance relationship from falling apart.
1. Silence is Death
Silence can kill any relationship. Whenever you've decided that you can cope with something in your relationship that you don't like, you end up having a scandal about it. And your partner, of course, is shocked because you never told him or her that you weren't happy about that. So, if standard relationships can be ruined by silence, there is no doubt that your long distance relationship is going to be killed by your silence policy. So, speak up whenever you have worries about something. It doesn't mean that you need to call your partner everyday and say how you worry that your long distance relationship may not work, as it will only help bring it to the inevitable end.
You want to chat more often – say it. You want to have virtual sex – say it. You want your partner to call you every day or you want your partner to call less – say it. Don't keep silent, as silence is death of a long distance relationship.
2. Work Harder
If a standard relationship requires a lot of work, than a long distance relationship requires a lot more. It requires more efforts, more patience and more compromises from both sides. That's how to deal with a long distance relationship, and if you are not ready for it, you are bound to fail. Mind that the efforts must be mutual, because if it is only you or only your partner making attempts to save your long distance relationship, then it will fall apart.
3. Look on the Bright Side
Of course, missing your partner on special occasions is terrible. Not having him or her to hug you in the minutes of loneliness and insecurity is also terrible, but you need to accept these challenges before embarking on a long distance relationship. Besides, there is the bright side to everything. First, you are putting your feeling to a test, which makes you feel more sure that you picked the right partner. Secondly, you have now more free time to do a lot of things. You probably had something that you always wanted to do or try but never managed? Maybe some art classes or going to the gym would help? Besides, finding new interests keeps your conversations with your partner more interesting. So, not wasting your time on suffering is exactly how to save your long distance relationship. As, you see, keeping things positive can really save things from falling apart.
Can It Work?
After reading long articles on how to save your long distance relationship, you may get a feeling that it may just not work. But that's not true. Of course, following the tips provided in this or in any article on long distance relationships on the Web can help, but you need to use your brain too. Listen to yourself and listen to your heart, you may know better ways to make your long distance relationship work. No one knows you and your partner better than you do. So, don't give up, take some advice, make your own decisions and your long distance relationship will work.
