How to Start Dating after Being Single for a Long Time


For the introduction, we would want to clear out one frequent statement that we find rather offensive and ridiculous. People often say that singles are unhappy and just wait for a lucky chance to find a partner for life. The cruelty of this statement stems from its purpose – society literally forces everyone to think that being single makes you incomplete and worse than the others. Single individuals are so for a reason, and sometimes – for a good reason.

You see, there are some moments in life when relationships are not a necessity (or not even an option). Some of us may choose to build a career and devote their life to hobbies and/or art. Others may go through complicated relationships with a sad breakup. It makes people vulnerable. You obviously need some time to get the pieces of your heart together – to get ready for something bigger and brighter. The point is – do not let anyone (even your close friends and relatives) tell you what to do and how to live your life. Because, you know, it is your life and only you are allowed to determine what’s necessary for you right now and what’s not.


However, if you realize that you want to find a partner after being single for a long time, you will have to prepare yourself to ensure your “painless” return to the dating scene. Here are some recommendations:

1. Decide what you need. Mindlessly diving into relationships just because you can is a horrifically bad idea. In the end, you might find yourself restlessly trying to build something you don’t even want to take part in. Therefore, you need to decide what kind of relationships you actually look forward to. Is it a summer fling? Maybe, you would like to have something like “friends with benefits”? Are you family-oriented or look for some fun only? Are you ready for something serious? By answering these questions, you will understand what you crave and need. DO NOT pass this stage! You will not have an opportunity to get back the time you spent enlivening already dead relationships.

2. Think of a perfect girlfriend. As a mature individual, you indeed know your tastes. Nonetheless, this little research of your “inner market” will help you govern your requirements and demands. In particular, we included this idea because people who were lonely for a prolonged period tend to fall for everyone who demonstrates small bits of attention or care. Well, you won’t become happy in this way. There’s no need to look for a girl that possesses certain characteristics. Limiting your choice will work against you. What you may do is to figure out what kind of girls you should avoid in order to save your time. It may sound cynical but you will eventually thank yourself for that.

3. What about online dating? Without doubts, online dating is the best option for people who were out of the game for a certain period. You should not deal with anxiety-provoking moments that often occur during real meetings. It also gives you an opportunity to learn each other better before deciding whether you want to meet or not. People don’t always feel enthusiastic about this concept. But you will never know until you try.

4. Don’t give up. Sometimes, dating is not that easy. As you did not participate for some time, you need to get used to the obstacles again. Nevertheless, you should not give up searching for your happiness. In addition to what we have said previously, you should also understand that now and then people just don’t fit – and it’s not your fault! Forget about disappointments and follow your decisions until the moment you feel true fulfillment. Good luck!