How to Be Masculine: Tips for Men According to Women
26.05.2020
The initial set of male and female qualities usually decides the future of a relationship – how two people will get along, go through problems and conflicts, and which of them will be the leader and have the supremacy in solving important issues. These qualities can save a couple from any quarrels as well as become the main reason for them. And while men are often pretty certain about the traits they want to see in a partner, women aren’t so sure what kind of person they’re looking for. Try to ask them and most will answer something like, “My special someone must be masculine.” What’s this all about?
Commonly, masculinity means completely different traits. It would probably be most correct to admit that this is a mix of qualities that can be characteristic of both sexes and vary from person to person. Some believe that courage and perseverance are the main ones just because they’ve been overly popularized. But the ability to admit defeat or go against one’s principles are no less important, as well as the willingness to help even those who mistreat you. The list goes as far as the differences between male and female opinions on the matter. Let’s look at both points of view, determine the key traits, and find out how to be more masculine but in a way ladies see it.
What Are Masculine Traits According to Men?
A typical male opinion on masculinity revolves around success and achievements. In short, a real man is a successful man. This implies that he has: a Job (with a capital “J”) he does well and likes as well as loved ones (family, partner, and children) he’s responsible for. A masculine man always knows his worth – he believes in his strength and success. He doesn’t need dating blogs and pickup lines – he’s ready to meet girls now and here. Now let’s dig deeper.
1) A sense of purpose
A solid, significant goal is the number one thing that must become part of a real man’s life because a purpose is a sign of an ambitious man who understands his needs and has a plan to achieve the desired. It’s a person who can tell how to be a masculine man. If one has no purpose, then he’s not living – he’s existing, thoughtlessly, and aimlessly. All the other male qualities become useless. Anyone can slack off from dusk till dawn, having no aspirations and aims whatsoever. However, only a masculine man can get up and force himself to work hard towards achieving his goal. And if this goal benefits his loved ones, he’s ready to bear all the hardships along the way.
2) The right to make a mistake
Good luck finding a person who has never been mistaken in anything. What makes a real man different? The ability to accept, admit a mistake, and conclude. If you fought with your loved one because of you, there’s no need to strike a defensive position and think that real men never ask for an apology because it's nonsense. A masculine man needs to come and apologize, admit that he was wrong. Mistakes make us stronger and give us invaluable experience we can’t read about in a book or see in a movie. You need to go through this yourself to learn to face problems, increase your self-esteem, and no longer repeat such things. But there’s one important point – not to give up and start thinking that since you made a mistake, you’re good for nothing. You won’t grow as a person thinking that way. This is a very weak position.
3) Willingness to help
Living exclusively for oneself won’t get you far in this world. If you don’t help people, then who’ll come to aid when you’re in a tough spot? That's right, nobody. Egoism has long become an obsolete trait. Moreover, it’s never turned women on. Ladies want to fall in love with a kind person who thinks of not only his comfort but their well-being as well. You know that ladies can be very observant, right? A woman knows that her partner will treat her just as he treats people around him. All our deeds will eventually return to us. This applies not only to bad actions but also good ones. If you lend a helping hand, grateful people will most likely help you out too. Besides, it feels great to do something good for the sake of others, not just your interests. At such moments, you feel a surge of masculine energy that can turn mountains!
4) Reliability
A true man’s loved ones know that they can always rely on him, that he’ll never leave them behind and won’t fail at the most important moment and that he’ll keep his word. They know his words mean something. Being unreliable is a quick way to disappoint everyone around you, including yourself. A person who’s not responsible for anything doesn’t inspire confidence in anyone. And often they try to avoid it. It’s hard to be friends with such men and even harder to build relationships with them. Any woman wants to let the guard down and relax with her man. But how can she relax if her partner is the opposite of reliability?
5) Leadership
A man must strive for a leading role in some of the spheres of his life: at work, in the family, or relationships with friends. After all, how to be masculine if you have no one to appreciate your masculinity? Preferably, he must nail all three spheres, enjoying the feeling of superiority. Now, don’t confuse this with narcissism. A man can’t just be a leader by default – he has to prove that he’s worth the title. Apart from that, he must stay respectful towards fellow leaders around him. He’ll have to deal with the opinions of others and concede in something. And this is normal. The bottom line, you need to reach maximum respect in some life spheres and prove that you’re worthy of it.
6) Pride A true man should be proud of his life and himself, his appearance, professional skills, and hobbies. After all, all this determines how society will accept him. If you don’t love yourself and aren’t proud of yourself, then no one will love you – it’s as simple as that. People sense self-doubt in the first seconds of acquaintance, and the first impression is very difficult to fix. That’s why it’s in your interest to discard all fears and complexes and learn to love yourself. There must be some actions and achievements to be proud of. But if you lie on the couch all day, chugging beer and watching football, there may be none. Being a masculine man means becoming a person you’d love.
What Do Women Really Think Are Masculine Traits?
It’s not that difficult to name the most valuable qualities, especially when it’s men who do the naming. But many other traits make a man an outstanding partner in the eyes of his beloved woman. Let’s hear what ladies say about how to appear more masculine. Here are the main signs of masculinity according to the prettier part of mankind.
1) Decency
Ladies rarely pay attention to men whose list of qualities doesn’t include decency. A lot of guys underestimate this trait, but only the wise and experienced attach at least some importance to it. A man that shows signs of decency will never insult or humiliate others. He’s morally strong, doesn’t assert himself at someone else’s expense, and is ready to answer for his words and actions. Those who are characterized by such masculine qualities always put morality first of all. Violence and evil are their number one enemies. Loyalty and devotion are also the main signs of decency. Cheating means disrespect both to a man and his woman who, albeit not ideal, is still his caring partner. We choose our partners, and by hurting them, we betray ourselves.
2) Kindness
In female eyes, men are overly aggressive and hyper-masculine creatures. They always try to position themselves above others. And somewhere below, some weak-willed men shun responsibility and confrontation at all costs. And to meet a woman’s expectations, you should stay away from both types. Apparently, there’s the third type of guy who manages to combine strong leadership traits with empathy and warmth. These are men who know how to love with all their hearts but are assertive and aggressive if necessary. They don’t start fights but end them. If a man combines both strength and compassion, a woman will never let him go.
3) Willingness to concede
A woman’s ideal is ready to abandon the last argument for the sake of peace. People argue. Couples argue. And each partner always has their own set of arguments. And in a dispute, each side wants to win because victory makes us feel better and more confident. That’s why we usually stand our ground to the end, even to the detriment of ourselves and our relationships. Unfortunately, arguing a self-confident man is usually impossible, and a lot of women learned this the hard way. But if you’re ready to finish the argument before you win, it means that love is more important to you than truth. That’s a truly masculine thing to do.
4) Self-sufficiency
It’s interesting that, despite all the changes in the public consciousness over the last few decades, the traditional idea of what a real man should be remains almost unchanged. Vital, socially resonant success is still more important for men than for women. For instance, some men are ready to build a relationship with a woman who plans on living at the expense of her dad or husband, but guys should rely on themselves only for their own sake. If you’re not self-sufficient, learning how to lower the pitch of your voice or how to make your face look more masculine won’t make you a man girls want to see next to them.
5) Self-irony
The ability to have a really good laugh at oneself from time to time and a sense of self-irony are very helpful when building a relationship. This means that you love and accept yourself as you are. And you have no complexes. Nobody wants to deal with a touchy man because even modern standards aren’t liberal enough to tolerate all female traits in males. Taking offense is a girl’s thing. It drains masculinity. Try to practice irony over yourself instead of taking insults. It’ll help you in many aspects of your life, not just dating. You’ll be easier to accept certain things, and life won’t seem so boring to you.
6) Protection
A man is a protector by nature. Your partner and your loved ones must know they’re safe next to you. Lucky for you, our world is a relatively safe place today. So most of the time, it will be enough that your dearest people are certain that if something bad happens, you’ll deal with any problem. This is a basic trait of a man, and both sides admit it. If a woman feels safe by your side, you automatically get a few extra points. But you must stay strong and hardy, a reliable backup for your special someone. People can count on you; you’ll help a person in need. Such men are a rarity (mostly due to high female expectations), but if a woman finds one, she won’t let him go.
Keep the Balance: How to Become More Masculine
All in all, it’s plain to see that the female view on masculine traits is unsurprisingly softer than the male one. Does this mean that it’s wrong? No, this means that, instead of two ways for personal development, you now have three. And the third one – to combine the best points from both sides – is the best one.
1) Assume responsibility
Realize that to develop masculinity, you must assume full and unconditional responsibility for everything that happens in your life. Become independent of the circumstances. Stop blaming others for your mistakes and failures. Stop blaming the environment for the "wrong" attitude towards you. Start by setting, analyzing, and eliminating virtually all the moments when you relied on someone’s help. To be more responsible and disciplined, make a list of your personal duties, deeds, and activities, and take control of their implementation. Enjoy responsibility, don’t run away from the challenges, and don’t try to minimize them. And the result will be obvious – people will start trusting you.
2) Fears away
If you feel fear for any reason, how can others call you a true man? Now, being afraid is normal. But constantly fearing everything in the world and being dominated by fear is not right. The first thing you should understand is that no matter how great you’re doing, bad stuff will happen. And it would be wrong to be scared of it. And there are also situations you might be able to improve. You need to do that, overcoming yourself because by doing nothing, you won’t make any difference. Men mustn’t be cowards. Fight yourself constantly. When you start winning one fight after another, you’ll become a better version of yourself. And this will be the ultimate reward for the obstacles you’ve overcome.
3) Learn to be bolder
Yes, you may not succeed at something at first. Sure, you may have a failure after failure. But what distinguishes a real man from others? The desire to go to the end and never stop there. Say you fail twenty times – get ready for a twenty-first round. Naturally, if you cherish destructive thoughts in yourself, don’t expect anything good. You’ll eventually become a failure. That’s why you need to cultivate willpower, the desire to achieve a result, no matter what it costs you. Only in this case, you can be called a real man. Only in this case, your partner will be proud of you, and friends will make an example of you.
4) Be consistent
You should never change your beliefs, and you should have some willpower. No, this doesn’t mean to be a stubborn type who always thinks he’s right, even when he’s proved wrong twice. You just have to form a definite opinion on some issues that you would be sure of. This way you make your life easier and learn how to sound more masculine when arguing. Living with a person who has an eternal change of mood is a heck of a test, and not every woman can handle that. Try to adhere to one point of view and don’t change your views and decisions every second because that’s childish. Try to avoid such behavior.
5) Become respectful
A true man respects women. He’ll never be rude, whether he’s talking to a simple cashier in a supermarket or the girl of his dreams. He’s on good terms with people around him. After all, your partner always pays attention to how you interact with other women and draw conclusions. If you don’t know how to control your emotions, this says a lot. If you never learned to restrain yourself and cultivate respect for other people, then you’d better start doing that.
No matter what you are at the moment, you always have room for improvement to become kinder, better. And you’ll do a big favor to your loved ones if you make friends with your head, deal with your complexes, and start acquiring the right qualities. The trick here is to leave your personality intact while making changes. Your goal is to become masculine but mustn’t be too radical. Be observant and worry about your happiness because you’re the only one responsible for it.
