A Guide to Dating a Single Mom

25.07.2017

What Makes a Single Mother Different and Vulnerable?

With millions of single mothers around the globe it is clear that men are quite likely to run into one. But what makes dating a single mom different? Of course everything is individual, but there are few things that make single mothers stand out. First of all, single mothers are very strong. Surviving the separation simultaneously with bringing up the kid is a hard and painstaking work. This type of women embodies a family supplier, a housekeeper, and a parent. Most of them manage to do it perfectly well. Secondly, single mothers are quite vulnerable. While it seems impossible for someone to be vulnerable and strong in the same time, single moms manage to do that. Most of them block all emotional distractions as they need to concentrate on bringing up their children, as the bright future of the child is their top priority. Vulnerability surfaces when single moms start dating. It is really hard to start it all over again and trust someone after facing a betrayal. For single mothers, dating again is a real challenge, which makes them absolutely vulnerable.

Would You Date a Single Mom?

Dating a single mother may be a real challenge for a man, as he needs to get her faith in men back in order to earn her trust. Another important thing that man must understand before dating a single mom is that he would have either a supporting or a semi-leading role in her life. The leading role is already taken by her children and they are unlikely to drop out until they reach their late teens or early twenties. Another thing is that she may not have the full custody of her kids, thus her ex may intrude in your relationships occasionally. Even if she has a full custody, you need to remember that she has survived the betrayal and separation. Surviving doesn't necessary mean forgetting. Thus, some time must be devoted to exorcism, as it is hard to be in relationships with the ghost of her ex floating around all the time.

Would you date a single mom? Despite everything mentioned above, single mother is an ultimate fusion of strength, emotional vulnerability, experience, and love. Thus she's worth fighting. Besides, knowing certain tricks, you can make single mom dating a comfortable and absolutely enjoyable experience, regardless of whether your dating will culminate in her second marriage or not.

How to Date a Single Mom?

So, if after reading previous passages you came here, it means that single mom and dating doesn't sound to you like something that doesn't go together hand in hand. It means that you are up to facing the challenges, which makes you strung, which in turns means that you would make a nice pair for a single mom. Your choice is right, and despite the possible hard work, it will be rewarded. If the sentence about having a supporting role somehow confuses you, mind that in series, recurring characters often take the lead later. So, how to date a single mom? We offer you to check out the tips for dating a single mom.

Dating Single Mom Is Different

You must recognize that dating single mom is different. Just because she cannot devote as much time as you want doesn't mean that she doesn't like you. Her time is very limited, simply because she has children, which is her complete responsibility. The least you can do to feel an important part of her life is to ask whether you can help her. If not, just stay away and don't get offended when she's not available when you want. Still, she will manage to find as much time for you as she can, because single mothers always know what they want.

Don't Fight for the Leading Role

You need to accept the fact that her children are her number one priority. There is no need in trying to overshadow her kids, as there has already been a man in her life who left her. She may appreciate and love you, but she won't think twice if you hint that she needs to choose between you and her kids. Kids always win, plus remember what we've said before about the recurring roles in TV series.

Don't Interfere Her Bringing Up the Children

Dating as a single mom is quite hard, as sooner or later her partner would start nosing into her methods of bringing up the children. One good piece of advice – stay away from it. She most likely was good at it before she ever encountered you. So, give her your opinion on kids' upbringing only if she asks you for that. Moreover, you should mind that you have the right to give an advice only if you have your own children. If you don't, your advice should start like “I'm not a parent, but I think...”, otherwise you may get into a fight.

Don't Make a Drama of Her Ex Hanging Around

In case if she doesn't have a full custody of her children, get ready that you will encounter her ex from time to time. You should remember a few things. First, he is a father and he has the right to see his children. Second, maybe he betrayed her, but maybe they just found out that they didn't have enough romantic chemistry to make their couple work, and they decided to remain good pals. Whatever the reason was, her ex may be hanging around. What you shouldn't do is to make a big drama out of it. You may give her emotional support if there's certain tension between her and her ex, but you should let her handle all the relations with her ex. And no matter what, don't contact her ex on her behalf, it is prohibited! Doing otherwise may lead her to throw you out and lose her faith in men once again.

Allow Your Relationships With Her Kids to Develop Naturally

When it comes to dating a single mom, people tend to believe that a lot of it depends on your relationships with her kids. Although it’s basically true, you're in relationships with her, first of all. At the same time your romantic relationships may turn into living hell if her children think that you are not good enough for their mother. So, what to do? Hurry up to making friends with them? Oh, come on. You know that it's going to be highly insincere and kids will see it crystal clear. Let your relationships with her kids develop naturally. It means that you should be nice to them, still don't try too hard to make friends with them, as some kids don't think that their lives and life of their mother are inseparable.

Be Trustworthy

One of the most important things when you are dating a single mom is being honest. In case if the reason for her separation with her ex-husband was his betrayal, you must understand that she relied too much on someone who turned out to be not trustworthy. So, you should be someone whom she can trust. But remember, you need to be responsible to her, but not responsible for her.

Listen to Your Intuition

Any article on the internet can help you in figuring out how to date a single mom, but you must remember that following the rules and tips without using your head can lead to dreadful consequences. So, no matter what you read, you must use your head and intuition, because it is the only way to build a successful relationship with you single-mom-girlfriend.

Why Date and Not Date a Single Mom?

Probably, after reading everything written above, one question might pop-up in your head, and that's being “Should I date a single mom?” Of course it's up to you to decide whether to date or not to date a single mom, but there are few things that should be taken into consideration. So, in order to sum everything up, let's take a look, without further ado, at pros and cons of dating a single mother.

Pros

She's most likely to be a mature woman, of course there are different cases, but commonly it's so, which gives a single mother certain advantages. She's mature and she definitely knows what she wants, which means that she's not much into playing games with you.

Because taking care of the children requires a lot of strength, single mothers got used to take care of themselves, as well as of everything, on their own. This makes them easy to maintain, as they are unlikely to ask much from you.

She won't insist on your being around all the time. She's okay with you being there for her whenever you have time for that. The simple reason for that is that she needs to devote as much time as possible to her kids. Moreover, she will understand that you may have some rapid change in your schedule, because she also can't have a predictable schedule and her plans change depending on her kids.

A single mother is unlikely to be selfish. As she’s spent a lot of time on taking care of her children it is easy for her to recognize the importance of other people in her life. So, when you date a single mom, you can expect her to be caring and supportive. But don't you take it for granted – you must be caring and supportive as well.

Cons

Once again, her top priority is her children, so if you can't live without stealing the show – don't date single moms. If you’re expecting to get the leading role, you need to wait for her kids to grow up. After that, you have good chances to move from the recurring to regular main cast of her life. But it requires patience.

Her ex can hang around, because they share the custody of their children. If you can't accept the fact that there was some history before you, better forget about dating single moms, as it basically makes no sense.

Last but not the least, you may not get along with her kids, but if you follow our tips, that unlikely would be a problem for you.