What is Casual Dating for Seniors?

22.08.2017

There are more and more weird terms appearing in our modern world that people struggle to comprehend. Some of these terms are connected with dating, like “speed-dating” and “casual dating.” And the last one is going to be the topic of this article. We’re going to find out what casual dating means, if it fits for singles over 50, and how to make the best of it.

So, what is casual dating? Basically, this means dating and having an intimate relationship with someone without commitment. Besides, while establishing a somewhat strong bond with your partner, both physical and emotional, you can look for other potential companions. In plain English, casual dating rules don’t oblige you and your partner to anything, so both of you are free to do whatever you want without any damage to a relationship.

Does casual dating fit for seniors?

For people in their 50’s or older, it’s often difficult to build such relationship that may eventually lead to marriage and family life. That’s why the idea of finding a partner to become “friends with benefits” seems more and more appealing. And there’s no surprise about that, as nobody wants to spend their time on looking for that special someone at such age. All they want is to find a person to have a good time with, someone to share nothing but a bed.

A lot of singles are ready to become such a partner. They wouldn’t like to let others into their private lives, but they don’t want to put an end to their intimate life either. That’s another reason why senior casual dating is gaining popularity. Today, about 8 percent of single seniors are engaged in relationships with more than one partner at the same time. And above 11 percent of singles over 50 have regular intimate relationships with people they don’t live with. Let’s check out some other benefits of senior dating.

The advantages of casual dating

A lot of people already chose casual dating as the only form of relationships, and there are reasons for that. Why can it be beneficial for you? Maybe you just broke up with your loved one or your marriage didn’t end well, and you’re not ready to date someone with serious intentions at this point. Or perhaps you’re looking for a relationship that doesn’t have all those drawbacks conventional relationships bring. In other words, casual dating gives you the opportunity to enter the dating arena with your own rules and on your own terms, which means more personal freedom.

What can you lose when choosing casual dating?

Of course, such kind of dating can take its toll on your emotional well-being. For instance, those who are used to associating intimate relationships with commitment (that is, most seniors) simply won’t understand how it’s possible to have sex with no strings attached. For such people the friends-with-benefits concept is unacceptable. But this doesn’t mean that they are not suitable for casual dating. Some of them claim that dating without obligations and responsibilities turned out to be what they were looking for.

What you need to know about casual dating for seniors

The way single seniors look for potential partners differs from how younger generations do it. Once you turn 50, your needs, desires, expectations, and preferences change dramatically, as you’re no longer a person you were in your 20’s or 30’s. Here are four main facts you need to know about senior casual dating.

1) Your looks are not important

There’s a great attribute all young people pay attention to when looking for a partner – looks. You can tell it by browsing a few hottest dating websites and apps for a couple of hours. In fact, even thirty minutes would be enough. Just look at the most significant attribute that determines your potential partner on such apps, as Tinder. That’s right. It’s your match’s photo.

When talking about any popular dating service available online, the user’s photo is the most important thing. And this just proves our modern-day realia: there’s nothing as much important as your looks. Sure, there are a lot of people in their 50’s and older, who still consider physical attractiveness a priority, but in general, online dating for seniors doesn’t work this way. Well, there’s no clear explanation to this. Perhaps seniors are smart enough to understand that looks have nothing to do with such valuable character traits as kindness, care, and empathy. Or perhaps it’s all about the concept of attractiveness that changes with age, and the ability to stay sexy and hot depends mostly on one’s personality and not looks. Anyway, appearance doesn’t mean much for seniors engaged in casual dating.

2) No one cares about your age either

It seems rather irrational but those, who are looking for relationships without commitment, really don’t care about how old their potential partners are. For younger people, age plays such an important role when choosing a partner that this attribute became the second important criterion (after photos, of course) of search engines on every casual dating site. This only emphasizes how important age is for young people, who look for love. Almost all users of today’s most popular online dating services and apps specify the age of their potential match, with the range being simply ridiculous (for example, a lot of guys in their 30’s seek girls aged from 25 to 28). When it comes to senior dating, your health, activities, and physical strength play much bigger role than age.

People aged 50 and more are less demanding to their possible companions. This can probably be explained by wisdom that usually comes with age, but in most cases, it’s about how the process of aging works. Once you pass the 50-years age mark, your age gets less noticeable each year. That’s why your physical strength, health, and activities you take part in are much more important. If you prefer active leisure (like golf or long walks, for example) in your 60’s, you’ll probably choose a vigorous 75-year-old who will gladly share your way of life instead of some 60-year-old with asthma whose activities are limited to playing bridge once a week.

At the same time, the 70-year old man with joint pains, who enjoys pizza evenings, can become a perfect companion for that 60-year-old lady. As you can see, age is not important. The only thing that matters is what you’re still able to do at your age. Of course, this rule may not work if you look for casual sex dating or romantic relationships.

3) Seniors are not interested in long-term relationships

The main idea of most online dating services for younger generations is to help people find love and create a family. And while it’s still important for some older people, registering on senior dating sites, that’s not what casual dating is about. A lot of those in their 50’s and 60’s seek companionship, not love or marriage. They are looking for someone to share their activities, enjoy dinner with, or even go traveling together.

It’s exciting to add some romance, flirting, and attraction to one’s life, and that’s more than enough for most seniors. They don’t want to make their life complicated. After all, that’s what distinguishes casual dating from any other type of relationships.

4) Online dating is not for seniors

Online dating doesn’t actually fit for seniors. It’s designed mostly to meet the demands of younger people obsessed with looks and age, who are ready to spend hours online, picking, matching, and discussing their potential partners. And those online dating services that are focused on fitting the needs of seniors don’t differ much from dating sites for young daters. There are only a few services that cater for older people out there.

How to make the best of casual dating

And here are some rules to follow if you want to make your casual dating experience as pleasant as possible.

1) Be sure why you want it

You need to understand why you want to stick to casual dating. Maybe you wasted a significant part of your life on ordinary relationships, and now you want some time for yourself. Or you just never believed in the idea of monogamy. It’s important to stick to the reason why you decided to make things “casual.” The thing is that if you don’t know why you chose this path, you can simply get sidetracked by your partner’s (or one of your partner’s) wishes and needs and switch to a standard type of relationships, even if you don’t want it. And one day, you’ll regret your choice.

2) Don’t talk about casual dating right from the start

This is the problem a lot of people can’t handle. When chatting with a potential companion for the first time or during a first date, they spit out everything about their views on relationships and dating. They start talking about all the advantages of being friends with benefits, often scaring their partners off once and for all. And after that, they start wondering why they constantly get dumped. When it comes to casual dating, you need to open up step by step. You don’t have to say everything, and your partner doesn’t either. But there’s also no need in lying about your intentions. And you shouldn’t wait for long before opening up; if your companion finds out what you really want from dating on their own, you’re done.

So the earlier you explain everything, the better. It’s great to talk things over once you meet for the first time; just try not to spit everything out. Do it gradually. The more you believe in your reasons, the easier it will be to convince your potential partner.

3) Give your partner something valuable

There’s one more thing about casual dating: you need to offer your partner some value. We’re not talking about something that’s worth a lot of money. We’re talking about your attention, care, good mood, etc. In other words, you need to show your companion that your casual relationship is better than the real, stable one that others may offer.

4) Set some boundaries

If you like the way your casual relationship goes, and you want to keep it that way, set up boundaries. Because if you don’t, you may end up casually dating your partner and having to cope with problems of conventional relationships. And you don’t want it, right? First of all, don’t act like you and your partner are married. There’s no need in texting her\him each hour. And forget about making her\him meet your relatives. Such behavior can be confusing to your companion, making them think that you want something more serious.

In conclusion: how to understand if casual dating is for you

Don’t forget that casual relationships work both ways. That is, you can’t just go picking up every lady you meet, but demand your partner to be with you only. This is the fastest way to destroy the relationship, going through quarrels, fights, and drama along the way.

That’s why before trying out casual dating, you need to be sure that you have nothing against your companion (or one of them) going out with others. If you’re OK with that, then feel free to try casual dating. If not, it’s better to stay away from it.