How to Stop Obsessing Over a Girl

24.05.2018

Sometimes love hit us like a truck full of heavy bricks. I mean, it can be pleasant for people, right? Men tend to crush even harder, especially if there is something more than sex that connects you. So what do you do after madly falling in love?

Imagine it all started as always – you just wanted to wine and dine, sleep with her and then move on. You didn’t want your concentration to interrupt. You wanted to work effectively, without hesitation, keeping track of your mental state, as well as your pocket and life overall. But then you started noticing this girl definitely makes you get carried away too much. She is just too good, too beautiful and gentle; there is something special about her. Then you are scared to lose consciousness and feeling of stability at once. When you keep dating, it feels almost heavenly. But Gosh, things can go wrong. Maybe you loved this woman too much and things got messed up. Thoughts about her still grab 90% of your time. Now you cannot sleep, eat and think, sinking deeply into depression. How to stop obsessing over someone? Should you forget about her or try to fix the relationships?

Why am I obsessed with her?

When men get obsessed with women? You can agree that not every relationship gets you carried away, but sometimes it is just too much! You can stop obsessing over someone as soon as you will understand what the reason she stole your heart was.

1. She looks familiar. It is a psychological fact – men do tend to get obsessed with women that resemble their closest people: let it be your mom, your sister or the girl you’ve met during your elementary school years. Usually, this is the strongest feeling you can get. You are one hundred percent attached to something that is already close to you. If every of your ex was a total bitch and made you feel miserable, but exactly this girl awakens butterflies in your stomach with something warm inside – this might be the reason you can’t get over a girl you absolutely love. Especially if she has traits of your first teenage love, which is believed to be the strongest and the most painful, but it is definitely true.

2. She is extremely beautiful. It is horribly wrong to say that men don’t develop a type for women. Sometimes you just can’t get over the fact that this trophy might come to somebody else’s hands. You simply don’t want to lose this everlasting feeling of being so proud and turned on at the same time. Beautiful women always make men jealous, because it is just a simple instinct – we don’t want to share the best bit, not a single slice of this sweet cake. But beware that this behavior is the borderline between obsessive and mentally ill. If you are so concentrated on the fact that this beautiful woman was taking away, you have developed some childish and immature patterns of not wanting to share.

3. You didn’t have sex yet. If you have gone on a couple of dates with your girlfriend, but haven’t achieved your physical goal, then the reason of you obsessing over her is quite explainable. Men who are not satisfied with the date will ultimately feel an itch to score. By the way, a lot of women already know that, so they use this sex blackmailing as the means of making a man fall in love.

4. She is just special. This sounds like a terrible cliché, but some girls are just out of this world. Did you see there was something ethereal in her glance when her eyes were sparkling? Well, this is exactly what happens when you fall in love with a special woman, especially when your previous relationships ended tragically.

5. She is way cooler than you. Finding a girl that can be your master not only in bed is precious. Such a woman can teach you a lot of things, from proper cooking to making origami or creating amazing science projects. Losing such a girl can make you obsessed with her creativity and uniqueness for a long time.

How to stop obsessing over a girl?

It seems weird that men even ask these questions as they want to depict themselves as strong warriors with no feelings. However, when those feelings kick in, there is going to be an explanation of how to stop being obsessed with someone.

1. Be busy

Usually we think about our girls when we do not do anything else. If you want to forget about a girlfriend, you should not take a vacation or give up work, a hobby, a business. On the contrary, you have to take your brain seriously. If your mind does not have any rest, then it will not incline you to the path of bad memories. Business can be a great treatment, especially when you have been failing at your work lately, and your lovely madam was the reason.

2. Stay with your friends

You don’t need to separate from everyone and become a monk. Believe me, you will only make it worse. Instead, to prevent you from mental suffering, we beg you to live lives of your friends. It sounds horrific, but as long as you are occupied with somebody else’s problems, you will have no initial time to sit alone and suffer. One good tip – never mention your ex in a conversation. Not only you will make it annoying, boring and repetitive, you might also bring back some unwanted memories everyone is tired to hear. Speak out loud, share, and forget.

3. Try out new cool things

How to stop obsessing over an ex-girlfriend? It is very difficult to think about the exwhen you are happy. So try to cheer yourself up with something that always cheered you up. It is better not to resort to alcohol, because it is a depressant - it helps for a short amount of time, but not for a long period. If you devote more time to joyful stuff that make your heart warm again, then you will not have time to be sad. Do you like to play computer games? Play them. Do you like to watch races? Bet some money with your friends for a race. Are you crazy about basketball? Visit the game.Remind yourself that there were better things in life then love and endless suffering.

4. Let it all out

You must do it one more time. Talk to your best friend, who can tolerate your whining, about all the things that worry you about the former girl. Speak without keeping secrets and being bitter; listen to his friendly advice and receive that understanding tone. When you say it aloud, it will be easier for you to let it go, but do not repeat it more than once, otherwise you will become a whiner.

5. Keep distance

How to stop obsessing over something? Don’t remind yourself of it. Obsessing over ex is pointless, it will just make things worse if you monitor her social media pages. Don’t stalk her on Tinder, Twitter, Instagram or any other social media. Unfriend her from every platform and don’t let your friends stalk this girl either. Never let them report about her current life, her new dates or family affairs.

How to stop obsessing over an ex

First of all, resign yourself to what happened. This is extremely difficult, but if you do not attribute so much meaning to things that happen, everything becomes very simple. You fell in love with a woman, which is approximately one in 4 billion women. One of the many did not suit you. She did not suit you for a lot of reasons, including ideological. Yes, this is not the most important reason not to live with each other, but one of the main ones that make your brain suffer during the whole cohabitation. A grown up woman who has been developed as a personality cannot be changed into another person.

Also, you need to concentrate more on other values, like your family. How is your mother? Have you seen her a long time ago? Visit her more often. If she lives in another city, and the way to her will take several days, call her. Call her on the phone, on Skype or write letters. Mom will be pleased, and you will not feel lonely or depressed anymore. If you have brothers, sisters or other relatives, call them, take a walk together, make contacts. You should not feel lonely, that's what a family is for. This is a mercantile, but a correct one.

The final stage

How to stop obsessing? Find a new girl! First of all, you’ll have to start at a relatively mediocre pace, because it will be extremely difficult to change the subject of your thoughts. Maybe, you should make an account on Tinder? That sounds like a good idea. A random acquaintance might brighten up your day, especially when she is beautiful. Some dating professionals even recommend to meet a new woman every day (not in a sexual sense but as getting acquainted with new people), but novelties are what makes us distracted from current issues. If you are lucky to find a good substitution, you might forget about your ex-girlfriend soon.

One thing you should never do is try to get back to a person that betrayed you or caused you mental suffering. This sounds like a start of a toxic relationship which you certainly do not want. Resist from hitting her up online, calling her via Skype or ask your friends to arrange a meeting. You do not need a girl who rejected you. You do not need a woman that did not appreciate you and did not respect you. You do not need a girl who chose life without you. Just move on, off to a fresh start! Be sure that every new meeting will change your life for the better!