How to Date an Emotionally Detached Woman: a Comprehensive Guide

24.07.2017

Why Do Women Become Emotionally Unavailable?

We got used to the common pattern where a woman wants to settle down building the loving nest while man feels that he is not ready and wants to mess around. This pattern, overly used in thousands of movies and romance books, leads us to believe that women are interested in relationships while men have no bother about it.

While in most cases such pattern works, it doesn’t mean that it can’t work otherwise. There are cases where women are emotionally detached. So, men often get emotionally unavailable because they are not ready to commit and don’t want to settle down. Are emotionally unavailable women so because of the absence of desire to settle down, then? Well, sometimes yes and sometimes – no. So, why do women become emotionally unavailable? Check out the following list in order to find out.

Absence of the Perfect One

Some are lucky to find their perfect match quickly while others spend long-long years searching for the one. Often, an emotionally unavailable woman is the one who gave up searching for her perfect match and decided not to fall for anyone else who is not perfect enough for her. It doesn’t mean that she won’t date you if you are not perfect enough, but don’t expect her being emotionally involved with you.

Spending Too Much Time with Bad Boys

Yep, now we are following the classic-movie pattern of a good girl gone bad because of messing with bad boys too much. Just, kidding. Women often root for those who are quite unsuitable for them, ending up being in relationships with emotional abusers, who seemed quite charming at first glance. Sooner or later those relationships will end, but the traumatic experience will remain. Very often, such experience causes women to be emotionally blocked just in order to not root for the wrong guy again.

Childhood Problems

Things that we’ve experienced in childhood mainly haunt us for the rest of our life, affecting each and every our move. We are not talking about cases when the girl is abused by her father or stepfather. But what if the girl was a bluebird in school? Imagine, often mocked and often dumped, the only way for such a girl is to become emotionally detached. After getting hurt for quite a long time, the best way is to not get emotionally involved with anyone. So, it is quite possible that an emotionally detached woman is so, because she was an ugly duckling in high school.

Emotional Control

Both of the previous passages lead to emotional control. It is a common belief that women are emotionally open, while men have a full control over their emotions. But, as we’ve already figured out, being common doesn’t mean being true. Women often gain complete emotional control over themselves in order to reduce the risks of getting hurt. The main problem with that state, which definitely has a lot of advantages, is that it is really hard to get out of it to be emotionally open with somebody. Gaining an emotional control allows to achieve success in a plenty of things, but it remains useless when it comes to romance.

How to Spot an Emotionally Detached Woman?

When you start dating, you may not figure out that your lady of choice is emotionally detached. Things get worse when your relationships are developing or trying to develop, to be more specific. It is better to learn signs of emotional detachment, before your candlelight dinner with a ring and a proposal as the final act goes wrong. So, without further ado, check out the signs of an emotionally unavailable woman.

You’re Non-Existent outside the Two of You

You’ve been in relationships for months, but she didn’t bother to introduce you to her family and friends? Well, it may be okay not to introduce you to her parents or siblings, because, who knows, maybe it’s just too early. But not to introduce you to friends! That’s strange, isn’t it? Most likely it means that you are unlikely here to stay and your relationships are going nowhere.

She Doesn’t Want You to Know Each Other Better

She doesn’t bother asking you about your background and every time you try to bring up your backstory or simply something about you, she sits with an absent look. Moreover, she’s not into talking about herself. Every time you try to ask her something, she bows out without giving much detail, keeping her answer as brief as possible. It means that she’s not thinking about being too long with you. Most likely your relationships will end abruptly as soon as she begins finding you to be boring. So, forget about your engagement plans.

She’s Casual about Your Relationship

Commonly guys take relationships casually, but, once again, common is not always. She may have sex with you and then disappear for a few days without answering your calls; then she appears like nothing ever happened? Well, that’s what typical emotionally unavailable women do. Hoped for long lasting relationships? Try it with someone else.

You See Each Other When It’s Convenient for Her

You are the one to walk an extra mile to have a date with her? Well, most likely she’s detached emotionally. You need to adjust your time and life conditions for it to be convenient for her? She expects you to be there for her whenever she needs, but she’s unavailable whenever you need her? Yep, your relationship is going nowhere.

She Makes You Feel Blessed to Have Her You often feel like you are insecure around her? You ask yourself whether you are good enough for her? You feel anxiety? Of course it may mean that you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but it can also mean that you are dating an emotionally detached woman. You will never feel that she’s really yours.

She’s a Commitment-Phobe

She runs away every time you start talking about mutual future plans? She prefers not to talk about that at all? Once again, you are right on money. She’s emotionally detached and has a big fear of commitment.

How to Deal With Emotionally Unavailable Women?

Reading the signs of emotional unavailability might give you the feeling that dating an emotionally detached woman is mostly a negative experience. But a few tricks can help you turn it in a positive experience. Moreover, you can unblock her emotions. So, check out the tips on how to deal with an emotionally unavailable woman.

Trust Her and Let Her Trust You

Leave your insecurity behind. Convince yourself that she has the right to leave you whenever she wants. That will be enough to trust her. Don’t spend time on waiting for her to find some time to meet with you. Just trust her. She may leave you, but she may stay with you forever. It depends directly on your actions. Think twice, there’s something in you if she chose to date you in the first place.

Now, let her trust you. While it may seem hard to accomplish at first, it is way easier than you might have thought. The first thing that you need to do is to not be demanding. Don’t demand her attention but act as if your attitude towards your relationship is as casual as hers. Soon she will start rooting for you herself.

Find out Why She’s Detached

Figuring out why she is emotionally unavailable is crucial when you aim at unblocking her emotions. Don’t demand an explanation and don’t ask too many questions. Show her that you are a good listener and that you are open for conversation. Basically, make her trust you as a conversation mate. If she feels no danger she will open up to you and may discuss her traumatic experience. But it may not be necessary, if you treat her differently from the very start, as she will feel comfortable with you and may start unblocking her emotions herself.

Don’t Put Yourself First

Allow her to have her needs. Don’t demand being there for you all the time. If she sees that you are quite okay with her attitude and with her lifestyle, she will see no point in playing with you. Think, we all want to find a partner who accepts us the way we are. If she sees that you like and accept her the way she is, she wouldn’t like gambling on it.

Don’t Be a Victim

There is a subconscious desire to victimize ourselves deep inside. And it is hard to imagine more suitable conditions for self-victimization than someone neglecting your attempts to be everything for him/her. Well, don’t try to be better than you are. She’s with you only when it’s convenient for her, why can’t you do the same? Or, you can always be there for her, but never show that you really have the need in her. If she sees that you are always there for her, but never ask her to be there for you, she may ask whether you need her from time to time, which means you are winning. Whatever you do, don’t be a victim or a whiner, because emotionally unavailable women find male victims and whiners disgusting.

As you can see, handling with emotionally detached woman can be a hard task. Still it is worthwhile, because as soon as you’ve won her heart you will have a loving and long-lasting relationship with a woman who is not only your lover, but a life-long partner. She would appreciate that you accepted her and helped her unblock her emotions.