Top 20 Relationship Deal Breakers
30.06.2020
A common question asked by many people in love is, “What destroys relationships and how to improve them?” But the fact is that there is no specific reason why love between a man and a woman is fading away, and relations are deteriorating. It may be a lack of communication or too high demands of one of the partners. Perhaps people lack trust and true feelings, or partners don’t show care, but this is one of the biggest relationship deal breakers for many. There can be many reasons why single women dating doesn’t work out. But still, there are common relationship red flags and deal breakers that should be noticed as soon as possible.
What Are Relationship Breakers?
What are some relationship deal breakers? Let us explain to you something. All relationships go through ups and downs. At first, you simply cannot get enough of each other. But after a while, everything becomes more familiar and ordinary. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship will end soon. We just fall in love, let new people into our life, and sometimes we become attached to them so much that we don’t notice their shortcomings and what brings us inconvenience and suffering.
Even the closest people can wake up like strangers one day, losing each other forever. It’s just that they stop trusting the partner at some point. They notice early red flags in relationships, don’t want to share their feelings, give up, and move away as if they were not connected by anything. Then parasitic thoughts come to mind about at what point everything went wrong, who was to blame, and what destroyed their relationship. However, there were definitely signs that you didn’t notice.
Can You Overlook Those Deal Breakers?
The thought of breaking up is very scary. It can be a shock. You may try not to think about it, but it will not work. In the end, all your relationship problems will come to the surface. If so, then you should do something with them now. People, intoxicated by feelings, don’t notice the shortcomings in partners and idealize them. It seems that they are the most intelligent, beautiful, successful, promising, and charismatic. All these flattering words cannot be called an objective assessment. The fact is that people are immersed in their fantasies and transferred ideas about ideal relationships in the real world. That is why we can sometimes overlook relationship deal breakers.
Relationship Deal Breakers List
Relationships involve two people. That is why they logically require the efforts and participation of both participants. This way, you complement each other, respect, and live together. You need to leave your egoism aside and abandon ready-made opinions because the couple can find harmony only this way. So, what are deal breakers in a relationship?
1. Excessive self-love
One of the easiest ways to break any relationship is to focus just on yourself. Recently it has become fashionable to say that you need to love yourself, take care of your own needs, and put personal priorities in the first place. It may be a good idea, but only if you want to be alone. Successful relationships require a certain degree of self-sacrifice. I am not saying that we shouldn’t take care of ourselves. But partners need to devote enough time, taking care of the needs of loved ones. After all, when they focus solely on their needs, a partner may feel unloved and unnecessary.
2. Focus on the flaws
Do you want to understand what destroys a relationship? Pay attention to what they say to you. How often do they pay attention to your mistakes and shortcomings? In fact, this is a fairly common problem in a relationship when they look for what the partner is doing wrong. But the more often they do this, the more likely it is to ruin the relationship. Everyone makes mistakes. But why focus on this? Instead of looking for flaws in partners, it is better to focus on their positive qualities.
3. Naivety
Not knowing each other well enough doesn’t mean remaining in holy ignorance. One of the most important tasks of relationships is to accept people as they are. The result of a real relationship is the debunking of illusions. More often than not, they see the reason in the partner than in themselves. The process of getting to know each other ends very poorly in this case. The things you don’t want to notice from the very beginning become obvious. It is much more difficult to overcome this disappointment being in a serious relationship than in the process of getting to know each other. It is safer not to give your heart as a pledge before you know your partner enough.
4. Pace and direction of development
Personality is a developing system; it is constantly in motion. It is pleasant and useful to develop together in one or a similar direction, to support, inspire, and help each other along this difficult path. Improvement and strengthening of relations are guaranteed. It is deplorable if one of the partners develops faster/slower than the other, or they do it in different directions. It inevitably leads to a distance and complicates the relationship. Needs, demands transform, values change, and dissatisfaction grows.
5. Discontent
There is nothing worse in a relationship than whining, complaining, and resenting a partner. It is the worst deal breakers for a woman. Complaints and nagging negate all the pleasant things that were between people before. After all, an attempt to make another person feel guilty for their actions will not strengthen the relationship. This behavior will only exacerbate the situation. Again, everything returns to effective communication. If you don’t like something, and you want to discuss it, then do it in a positive tone. Just don’t complain and blame the partner for everything. Be honest with them in your words and actions.
6. Disrespect for a partner
If people are in a romantic relationship, then they must appreciate partners, respect their opinion and desires. They should listen to them first, and not listen to what friends or relatives say. Indeed, when the opinion of parents, friends, or someone else is more important for your partner, this will lead to serious problems. Partners will feel unnecessary and priceless. If something doesn’t suit them in a relationship, then they should discuss it with their partners, and don’t ask someone else for advice. I’m not saying that people don’t need to talk about relationships with friends and relatives. It is just important not to make their opinions more important than partner ones.
7. Lack of support
In the right relationship, people feel the support of their partners. And they don't need to understand and share all aspirations and interests. They may not understand them but still support each other. It is a manifestation of respect for the outlook on life, personality. If you understand that the partner neither shows interest nor support your undertakings, then such a person is unlikely to be able to provide you with emotional support. Over time, disinterest and criticism will make you believe that your feelings, attitudes, and values don’t matter, which means that you are not important.
8. Lies
As already mentioned, trust is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. That is why lie belongs to its great enemies because it can put an end to love. By the way, this is one of the worst deal breakers for guys. It’s much better to tell the truth even though this can lead to some kind of conflict. It’s always better to be honest without fear. Besides, people must bear the consequences of this. Lying can kill love and trust, and they are the foundation of relationships. Therefore, if a lie comes up at least once, it can cause partners to doubt everything.
9. Different social circles
It is the next issue from the relationship deal breakers list. We are used to believing that opposites attract, and this often turns out to be true when it comes to different psychological types. In this case, the partners complement each other and even learn skills they are lacking due to their nature. At the same time, people from different social worlds can be distinguished by dissimilar religious and political views, level of education. And when relationships lose their first romantic intensity, the couple faces the fact: they are hardly ready to understand and accept each other.
10. Love to parents
Yes, they also can be one of the dating deal breakers. It’s great when mutual understanding and love prevail between children and parents. But, unfortunately, this is not always the case. Moms or dads don't always like the chosen ones of their sons and daughters, or, conversely, one of the partners may not have a special love for the parents of their beloved person. All this is not very pleasant, but this shouldn’t affect the relationship within the couple. People should honor and respect the parents of their loved ones, but they are not obliged to love them.
11. Violation of borders and freedom
It often becomes one of the worst deal breakers for women. It happens that starting a relationship with a person, we forget about our hobbies, friends, favorite activities, and even relatives. And it happens that our partners demand it, and we agree to please them. Thus, we “die out” over time. Then, if you have to leave, you will have nothing left because all aspects of your life are replaced by your partners or directly become associated with them. And all our life becomes empty because we filled it all with a soulmate. It is important to feel your boundaries and understand that relationships are not a violation of freedom and not a reason to refuse everything.
12. No basic feeling of love
You cannot take good care of others until you take good care of yourself. If there is no love inside, it will be nothing “outside.” If we don’t love ourselves truly and unconditionally, we will not be able to love truly and unconditionally another person. And when we don’t have this source of love within us, we seek love outside and demand it from another person, although there is nothing to give us ourselves. The same with acceptance. If we don’t accept ourselves, we will not be able to accept a different person, and most likely, they will not accept us.
13. Discussion of your relationships with others
They tell stories of what’s happening between you to the one who knows both of you. The consequences are sad. You will solve your conflict, but the party involved in it will have negative thoughts and will look at you with disrespect for a very long time. Be sure to have boundaries not only with you but also with your relationship! It is completely dishonest to yourself to reveal hidden secrets that are important or painful for you. For another person, this is just a story to laugh at. Moreover, they can easily tell it to someone else.
14. Relationship routine
It is one of the most common deal breakers in relationships. We tend to take our loved ones for granted. You love and are loved. You are a couple, and that’s where the romance ends, and everyday life begins. People should remember their feelings at the beginning of the relationship. They should bring back joy and emotions! Women have to tell their men how they love them. Men have to give women flowers for no reason. If people don’t show their partner appreciation and don’t pay attention to each other, then their relationships will never become stronger.
15. Insults and criticism
Words have weight. When a person speaks unkind words to their loved ones, they injure them more painful than a knife. Partners should be a source of encouragement and support for each other. Negative words harm relationships. Some people say bad things, not thinking that they can greatly offend a person. The truth is that such words are painful, but many don’t understand this. When people criticize, insult, or reproach their loved ones for something, this creates an abyss in relationships. Making amends takes time and positive interaction.
16. Unwillingness to apologize and forgive
Apologies are something that helps save the relationships. Nobody is perfect. Sometimes partners can hurt each other. If this happened, they should sincerely apologize. Words can heal wounds and create stronger ties. Apologizing for some act, people show that they are not indifferent, and they really didn’t want any disagreement or misunderstanding. If they persistently don’t want to apologize, this suggests that they want to spit on the feelings of another person. Failure to apologize and admit being wrong is a personality flaw and a weakness of character.
17. Jealousy
Jealousy is the opposite of trust. A jealous person worries a lot, gets nervous, constantly asks tricky questions, checks pockets or messages on a mobile phone, correspondence on social networks, etc. All this is very unpleasant for both partners: the jealous one is in constant stress, afraid to detect compromising evidence, and the object of jealousy is simply suffocating from such control. It’s very difficult for jealous people to go out because every prying eye causes jealousy, resulting in scandals. Jealousy quickly tires, devastates a person and destroys relationships. People should realize that excessive jealousy is not an indicator of love but only a destroyer.
18. Lack of communication
I have not met a person who could read the thoughts of others, and, most likely, you are no exception. Some people are very self-confident, and they believe that their partners should know exactly what the problem is and how they can help. Perhaps they have stress at work, financial problems or they are worried about something. This list goes on and on. One thing is clear – such behavior on their part will cause nothing but irritation and feelings of resentment. It is one of the biggest marriage deal breakers for people. So, talk and listen to each other. It is usually enough to get things going.
19. Thinking about your sexual needs and ignoring your partner’s needs
Sex is an important component of any relationship and a problem many couples seek help with. Usually, the cause of the problem is the different views, desires, and expectations of partners in this matter. Partners should discuss this topic with each other and share what they consider the norm in sex and what is not. It is absolutely normal when you share thoughts with your partner. Firstly, they should treat them with respect, and secondly, they have to think about how they can adapt to your needs.
20. The game of silence
It is the last thing in our top 20 relationship deal breakers. All that you hold in yourself will anchor you down and strangle you. If you fought with your partners, discuss it, instead of moving away and ignoring them. Communication is a part of a relationship. When partners stop talking to each other, the distance between them grows, and everything ends up. People become strangers to each other. If you leave everything as it is, soon you will have nothing to talk about. Emotional closeness is important and can only be maintained through spiritual communication.
There is one tip for those of you who have just fallen in love – don’t be selfish, express your feelings, and don’t behave so that it may eventually threaten the love you have. Your positive addictions have tremendous power to challenge these relationship breakers before they can damage your love.
