Everything You Wanted to Know About the Hook-Up Culture
22.03.2019
Donna Freitas, a professor at Boston University, was the first to talk about the hookup culture. By this term, the author defines "a rational form of sexual relations, purely physical in nature." It seems that sex is present in such relationships, but desire, passion, emotions are not. Researches, conducted by American sociologists, have shown that up to 75% of college students belong to the hook up dating culture. Meanwhile, psychologists insist that separating sex from feelings and relationships, even if they cannot be called perfect, does much more harm than good. Approximately 40% of those who practice hook up, feel depressed and lonely.
What is stronger and more pronounced in our nature: the human desire for intimacy and support or just the natural instinct of the reproductive function? Today intimacy very often remains only physical, and we are going to find out what phenomenon lies behind it. And if you find this culture interesting, you will be lucky to find some tips on how to hook up with someone in this article as well.
What Does Hook Up Mean?
What is a hookup? It can be interpreted as a culture of short-lasting relationships. It is a system of views in which casual sexual contacts, including one-night meetings and other similar connections, are aimed at achieving physical satisfaction, and they aren't related to any emotional connection or long-term relationships.
What is much more important about this culture is not what they say, but how they act. Most relationships start today with a casual meeting at the bar that may grow into a pleasant night together that will end in the morning. It is usual for modern youth to have sex on the first date, and if two people do decide to start something serious after, their relationship will develop extremely rapidly. Having found each other in this way, people have no secrets left and can get down to business. Everyone decides for themselves whether it is right or wrong.
Most such couples, alas, do not survive long together. There are many reasons for a breakup, but most often one of the partners does not withstand the monogamy sufferings and finds somebody on the side. It can be explained in a next way: if you can conquer somebody’s heart, using just a few hookup lines, and everything is so easy, why would you stick to this person for the rest of your life? What does hook up mean to a guy? Nothing, just another victory. Representatives of the hookup culture very often do not appreciate the value of love since everything is an easy catch for them. If nothing but sex keeps two people together, such a relationship is doomed to failure.
The family and everything that is associated with it is more of a horror than a pleasure. Children, snot, dirty diapers, night cries, and most importantly, the obligations, this is not what the modern white collars dream of. Plastic surgeons, nutritionists, and cosmetologists will preserve the freshness of the skin for as long as possible and will hide the passport age under the image of eternal youth. Our society has become the world of consumers, we want a pretty picture in the shinning wrapping, one-night relationships, and no obligations. Why then sacrifice sweet life for the sake of outdated patriarchal values, change bright and colorful life for the dishonorable and virtuous one?
One might think that the situation with those who only seek how to hook up with local girls changes with age when both partners finally start thinking about finding a "life companion." When they either feel their biological watches telling them it is time to settle down, or when they have lost their previous passion, or are afraid of lonely old age. However, in reality, it is difficult to change the formed patterns of behavior.
How to Hook Up with a Girl?
If you are not scared of the psychological consequences of becoming a part of the hookup culture, you have nothing to be afraid of. Now it is high time you to know the best way to hook up with a girl.
1. Flirt with her
A girl should initially know that you want her and are interested in your close communication (if you know what we mean). Communicate on different topics, so that she does not think that you need only sex. Excite her with words since the girls are willing to respond to this behavior.
2. Excite her
At this stage, you can use not only words but also touches. Watch how the girl reacts to your movements. Look at her, but do not listen. It doesn't matter what she says. Her body will speak for her.
3. Demonstrate your desire
Show not only the desire for sex. Girls think that the worst thing that can happen to them is sex, after which you run away from them.
4. Show confidence
Remember how you behave with girls who you already had sex with. Or with those you are not interested in. Be calm. Nobody can resist self-confidence and well-thought-out actions.
5. Take the action
A suitable case may never turn up. You will constantly have something on your way. There are no best places to hook up, do it now or you will lose your chance. Therefore, the only correct option is to drop all doubts and act. Remember, indecisiveness does not excite anyone. Take what you want!
The Hookup Culture: 10 Important Facts
1. A classic example of a new approach to sex called hooks up. It is a kind of the student subculture of recent years. What is its distinctive feature? The "contact" culture shares the concept: sex is one thing, and love is another.
2. Hook up sex usually does not imply any kind of relationship at all like friendship, sympathy, and even commercialism. Nothing personal, just hook up. Communication occurs with an intention to use the minimum resources, so you save up time, money and emotions if you know how to hook up.
3. Psychologists, studying the phenomenon of hook up culture, have come to the conclusion that its spread is promoted by the style of communication in student dormitories and youth companies. And if earlier psychologists and sexologists believed that hook up was mainly the initiative of the male sex, and the girls reluctantly agreed to these rules of the game, now it is the girls who insist on this type of quick one-night stand.
4. Meanwhile, psychologists insist that separating sex from feelings and relationships, even if they cannot be called perfect, does much more harm than good. Approximately 40% of those who practice hook up feeling are depressed and lonely.
5. Of course, a relationship without commitment at first glance makes life much easier. Flirting, texting, and friends with advantages allow us to get rid of the tension, associated with expectations, and therefore, to feel more relaxed. How tempting it is to gain complete control over the sphere of our life in which we are most vulnerable, the sphere of intimacy. That is why so many people choose to hook up apps.
6. But this style of behavior is easy to get used to. The further you go, the more difficult it is for us to decide whether we want a serious relationship with a person we fall in love with.
7. It's easy just like in childhood. The hookup practice is very popular with the so-called kidults (kid + adult - "kid-adult”). Young people who are afraid to take responsibility for their lives, to make decisions independently, do not want to do this even when it comes to relationships. Adult life seems too complicated and confusing to them.
8. Very sadly, for couples that met this way, the slightest inconvenience becomes a reason for a breakup. The experience of being a couple allows us to realize the true value of communication, learn to listen to another person and master the art of compromise. While new acquaintance is always a step into unknown territory. However, to boost up our confidence, we have learned how to quickly meet people, for example on hook up sites. We do not know what we have to face, and therefore, we have to take risks every time. But in an effort to maintain the status at all costs, we are depriving ourselves of new sensations as well as the possibility of development and evolution in the future.
9. Vicious circle. Many of those who are involved in multiple relationships with quickly changing partners, explain this by the desire to dilute the routine and get bright sensations. In fact, such people, without even realizing it, often become trapped in another routine - a certain scenario of relationships that help them protect themselves from negative emotions.
10. The trauma of affection received in childhood can be hidden under the assumed lightness and windiness. If the parents did not pay enough attention to the child, and they did not respond to their needs, a grown-up kid decides that this is how they should behave in the future. In this case, the problem is pushed into the realm of the unconscious. Repeating the same pattern of behavior, they do not think about what complex motives lie in its foundation. Chaotic relationships without genuine intimacy can be a way to replace real intimacy with its imitation.
Finally, it’s not easy to prefer traditional relationship after the hookup experience, so it is important to know when to stop. Especially when finding a new sex partner has already become a part of everyday life. When you become addicted to this obsessive drive to meet new people, it's important to understand that that is no longer normal. There is a fine line between having sex with people to fill the communication and affection gap in your soul and the situation when you start counting victories, ticking out names in the notebook or collecting someone’s underwear. But this step is important primarily for us if we want to get rid of the traumatic experience and move on through life.
Hook Up Websites
These are the best hook up apps popular within the modern hook-up community. They have been on the market for many years now, and you can be confident in their safety and reputation. Find the one that works for your region and suits you the most.
- XMatch
- iHookUp
- Passion
- Adult Friend Finder
- Get It On
- Ashley Madison
- Friend Finder
- FriendFinder-X
- Plenty of Fish
- Match
Hook Up Apps
There are many dating apps for hook uppers we bet you haven’t heard about before. We have prepared a small list of the best of them.
AdultFriendFinder
It's great for finding a night date quickly and easily. It has many identities checking features so that you are confident in your partner.
EliteSingles
It's perfect for those who want to save up time and love to immediately get down to the business. It has interesting features and is widely popular among more serious people, no gross freaks here.
iHookup
The whole world of a hookup culture will be opened for you just in a few clicks. It is convenient and secure.
PURE
Not so pure as its name, very open and straight forward app, it is suitable for people who prefer spontaneity and privacy.
